Because...it doesn't matter.

Halloween is always a fun time of year.  Ghoulish goblins, tricks, treats and lots and lots of sugar to be consumed.  I've given up dressing up for Halloween.  I'm 34 and honestly, I'm just lazy.  I used to love dressing up and pretending to be someone or something else for a day.  Now, it's more fun to see what my kids want to be for Halloween and let their imaginations run free.

Gavin, my oldest, is 9.  He is a very practical child; matter-of-fact when he speaks (half the time you have to try and guess if he's kidding or not); and very kind-hearted.  He has a good imagination on him, but he's so quiet most of the time that you'd have to really look to see.  For Halloween, he's always been more on the practical side: a devil, Superman, Mr. Incredible, Speed Racer, Mario, Luke Skywalker and this year, a cowboy.  Easy to throw to together, and very practical.

Lauren, my youngest, is 6.  She is mischievous, lively and her imagination runs absolutely wild.  She tells stories that she makes up on the spot.  Because she's grown up with an older brother, she loves to play with action toys, video games and more of the "boy" centric toys.  She'll bypass the Barbie aisle at Target for the Lego aisle instead.  For Halloween, she's been pretty easy as well: a honey pot (from Winnie the Pooh), a pumpkin, Tinkerbell, Princess Peach, and Princess Leia.  This year, she decided that she wanted to be something different.  She wanted to be Ash, the Pokemon trainer.  I looked it up and didn't see anything wrong with it and found a costume that was reasonably priced.  There was only one thing that was different: Ash is a boy.

Lauren knows that Ash is a boy.  She knows that it is a boy's costume.  She knows that she is a girl that is dressing up as a boy for Halloween.  I know this.  Her dad knows this.  Her brother knows this.  Absolutely NONE of us care that she decided to dress up as a boy for Halloween.  Because...it doesn't matter.  Today is costume day at school and both of the kids wanted to wear their costumes.  I asked Lauren if she was sure she wanted to wear the Ash costume to school.  She said yes, so I said okay.  I braided her hair and pinned up the bottoms so that it fit underneath the hat.  We decided to walk to school, since it was a nice morning.

On the way to school, we ran into a few of her friends.  One friend looked at her and said, "Lauren, did you trade places with your brother or something??  You look like a boy!!" My girl said nothing in response and just smiled.  As we got closer to her classroom, we could hear some of the kids snicker.  Some older kids looked at her and said, "Hey look...he's dressed like the Pokemon dude." To this, my daughter said, "Her.  I'm a Her, not a Him."  When we arrived at her classroom, one of her friends looked at her and gasped.  She said, "LAUREN!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!? You look like a BOY! You're NOT supposed to dress like a boy!!" Lauren just looked at her and then looked at me.  She came over to me and gave me a hug.  I asked her if she wanted me to unpin her braids so they would show underneath her hat.  She smiled and said yes.  I whispered in her ear that she made an AWESOME Ash and that if people ask her why she's dressed like a boy, she should tell them that because she can and because it doesn't matter.  I gave her a kiss and told her to be kind to others, even if they aren't kind to her.  Some of the other parents gave me the sympathetic pity smile as they watched it unfold.  I just shrugged and said, "That's my girl!"

It makes me sad that I had to have a conversation like this with my 6 year old daughter.  Why does it matter that she dressed up like a boy character?  It means nothing to me and implicates absolutely NOTHING.  Even if it did, so what?  Would I love my daughter any less?  I love my kids unconditionally.  I wouldn't care if she wanted to dress up like Jabba the Hut or if my son decided he wanted to dress up like a princess.  I'd probably laugh because it would be unlike him, but if that's what he wanted, then that's okay with me.  It would make him happy.  Just like dressing up as Ash makes my daughter happy.  My daughter is an original.  My son is an original.  That's the beauty of all of us:  we are ALL originals.  Dare to be you!  Because in the end, that's all that really matters.