The Weight Loss Monster

Weight loss is a funny thing. It's so easy to gain the poundage and such a struggle to lose it. I haven't been one to really write about my own issues with weight, aside from saying I gained some from having kids and yadda yadda yadda. Who doesn't?

A few months ago, I got on the scale and realized that I wasn't happy. It wasn't just a number that made me unhappy. It was the realization that I was just doing enough to get by and to maintain wherever I was at the time. I knew that I could do more and I was determined to do more. So, I started running again. Running was never really an easy feat for me. But this time, I was determined to do it right. I know that running 3 miles does NOT equal deep-fried chimichanga goodness (or badness as the case may be). I started making the little changes in eating. Instead of buying cookies and sweet stuff at the store, I'd buy more fruit and veggies at the store. I realized that I have a sadist love/hate relationship with brussels sprouts. For example, I loathe them when they're bitter. But I have to keep eating them to find the ones that I love that aren't bitter. There's a glimpse into the inner workings of my brain. I also found that whenever we go out to eat, it's okay not to eat everything, and probably better that I don't. It's okay to have whatever it is that I want...so long as it's in moderation.

It's not always easy. In fact, there are days when all I want is to lay on the couch, eat chocolate an watch my soaps. But I know that it doesn't do me any good. I've also learned to not beat myself up whenever the best laid plans go astray. For example, yesterday I wanted to run 6 miles in the morning. However, I woke up and realized that it wasn't going to happen. I haven't been sleeping so great and I was exhausted. I actually slept well, but I was just bone tired still. So I didn't run the 6 miles. Chalk it up to life happening. I'll do 3 later on this afternoon and feel good about it. I've decided that if I start training for the San Antonio marathon and I'm just not feeling the full, then I can always run the half and I'll still live and still be happy about it.

The other day my mom and I went shopping. I had looked in my suitcase and thought about the clothes that I had back home and found that most of my shirts are either race t-shirts (the "hey-look-at-me-I-ran-a-5K/10K/Half-Marathon/etc." kind of shirt) or just beat up not so nice shirts. As I was trying on different shirts in the stores, I had to buy a size smaller in all of the shirts. It was a good feeling. We went into another store and found a really cute pair of trouser jeans. I don't have any and had been wanting some for awhile. The saleswoman recommended trying them on a size smaller than what you'd normally wear. I thought surely she'd be kidding, so I grabbed my normal size and the size smaller. Well whaddaya know...she was right. I looked at the tag and was shocked. I hadn't worn this size since Mark and I got married 10 years ago. Now I really didn't need the jeans, but hey, when it's a single digit size...I needed the jeans.

This blog isn't intended to be a pat on my back or brag about losing weight, so I'm sorry if I've offended or come across a bit conceited. The running has helped me gain my self-confidence back and helped realize that I really can do whatever it is that I set my mind to. I've lost weight before and gained it all back and thensome. This time is different. I feel like I have the tools in my pocket to keep it off and to keep my life going in the right direction. Whenever I see a number on the scale, I'm pretty sure that it will be the last time that I see it. To date, I have lost 15 pounds and with about 10 more to go. :)