Three simple words: Play. Mario. Kart.
Flashback to 1997. The era of boy bands like N'Sync and Backstreet Boys and the rise of Britney Spears. The light in that darkness was the advent of the N64 by Nintendo. Along with that came a fabulous racing game called Mario Kart. I remember the first time I played it. My friend, Jody, was a Resident Advisor for one of the floors that a majority of my friends lived on. Since he had the distinguished honor of being an RA, he also had the power of persuasion and managed to get his hands on the keys/code to one of the conference rooms in a building. So, what does one do when wielding such power?? Have a Mario Kart party, duh! He is quite tech savvy and managed to feed it through a projector, so the screen was the size of the wall. It was awesome. We all took turns and it introduced me to something else: the mouth of a Mario Kart player.
When one plays Mario Kart, it's as if that person becomes possessed by a potty-mouthed sailor. I never thought it actually would happen, but alas...it does. When you get a bunch of college kids together, add in your beverage of choice (generally alcoholic) and Mario Kart, you get what could be considered the best naval recruits ever. Words and phrases fly out that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush...(e.i. Your mom's a wh*re and her cookies suck., Your a$$ is grass and I'm the lawnmower, etc.--these are two examples of the more moderate phrases). It made for good times.
Fast forward to 2008. Most of us have graduated, married, had a couple of kids and moved on in life. However, we all learn that most of us have the new Nintendo gaming system--the Wii. We also learn that Mario Kart will be released in this year for the Wii. What is even better is that we can race against each other via the wonders of wireless internet capabilities...no matter where in the world we are...we can race. Oh how wondrous it is to be a college nerd all over again!!! We buy the Kart and race...and what do you know? Those blushy-make-you-want-to-wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap phrases rear their big, ugly heads all over again. What's the big deal?? The big deal is that unbeknown to you, your then 5-year old is still awake of 8:30pm in his room and can hear you yelling at the top of your lungs. Yes, dear friends, in those moments, we are the parents that we gawk at in Wal-Mart. The ones that inadvertently teach our kid horrible phrases.
Gavin loved Mario Kart and he's quite good at it. However, he has a real knack for recalling things that are said. For example, in sheer frustration during one race, he yelled, "DAMMIT!!!" at the top of his lungs. We turned off the TV and he burst into tears. We had the "bad word/language" discussion with him and then secretly vowed to either wait until he is fully asleep to play or just try to watch our own language. It worked well until this evening...when out of his mouth we hear, "I'm on you, b!tch!!". We stopped the game and asked him what he said. He tells us that he said, "I'm on you, Peach!" and we have him say it so we can tell if he's lying to us. Since we've been living in South, our kids have grown into the southern accent. Turns out that with his little bitty twang, the word "B!tch" and "Peach" really do sound one in the same. Poor kid.
So lesson for the evening is two-fold: 1) If you ever need to learn how to speak the language of dirty comics or dirty sailors, play Mario Kart. 2) Be careful of what you say...it really will come back to haunt you.
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