Joni Mitchell Had it Right...

...when she wrote/sang, "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got, 'til it's gone..."

It's so easy to get caught up in life. We work. We play. We travel. We make money. We lose money. We pay bills. Such a seemingly endless cycle and what a vicious cycle! How few and far between it is that we really stop and think.

There are days that I whine about having to get up at the buttcrack of dawn. Days when my kids drive me crazy with incessant questions and talking. Days when work seems almost endless. Days when my husband doesn't come home until sundown or later. Days when I get angry because I meant to do something, but didn't do it. Days when things don't go the way that *I* want them too.

But then some things happened. Life changing things happened. Not to me directly, but to people that I love and I care about. I felt so helpless and so powerless to stop the chain of events that inevitably follow. My mind became mush because I wanted so much to be there, to try and take away their pain and to try and make it better--even if it can't be made better right away. I needed to stop, think and put things in perspective.

Sure I have to get up early, but I am so grateful that I wake up every morning. Every day is a new day...full of hope and full of possibilities. My children drive me b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but I'm so grateful that I was able to have them; that I can hear them; and that they still have the innocent curiosity about them. Work is busy, but I am grateful to have a job when so many others may not or may be struggling. My husband may come home late, but I'm grateful that I have him in my life and that he IS able to come home at all. So many of my friends and family do not have that choice right now--their spouses are NOT able to come tonight, tomorrow night or the next night...maybe in a few weeks or months. I shouldn't get angry at the things that I can't or didn't do, but be happy for the things that I did do and still can do. Things won't always go the way that *I* want them too, but that's the beauty about life--it's not about me, it's about ALL of us. :)

Instead of looking at life wistfully and longingly for the things that we don't have, we should be looking at it as being full of possibility and grateful for whatever it is that we DO have. Sometimes when you don't realize how much you have when you have it, you miss it that much more when it is gone.

Man down!

Distance: 2.02 miles

Time: Didn't pay attention

Route: Treadmill

I have been having trouble with my right knee again. That little booger has been giving me trouble since about November. When I ran the marathon, it flared up at mile 9 and went numb at mile 14. At mile 22, everything started to hurt, so nothing really mattered. :) Well, it's been 3 months since then and it's still giving me issues. So, tonight, I decided to go ahead and walk on the treadmill - but on an incline--8%. We have no hills in Shreveport. Okay, I lie. We have at least one decent hill by Gavin's school in the South Highlands area. But, it's a pain in the ass to get to, so the treadmill it is.

I started up and it was decently busy in the gym. I've had a lot of mental issues as well, lately. Not crazy issues, but just a lot of thoughts..."Do I really want to do another one?" "Should I run Bay to Breakers?" "Should I walk it?" A lot of hemming and hawwing. I'd like to try and run it, but I'll just leave up to how I feel on Sunday.

As I was hitting mile 2, there was a guy on an elliptical in front of me. One second he was on there...the next second, he was down on the ground. Poor guy fell off! I immediately hit the stop button to make sure he was okay. He said he was all right and that he was more embarrassed than anything. I told him that I have a strong tendency to fall while running on flat surfaces, so I know what he felt like. At least he laughed. :)

Sometimes you just have to suck it up...

*I ran this on Thursday night*

Distance: 5.01 miles

Time: 56:03

Route: Treadmill

For some unknown reason, I have avoided running 5 miles like the plague. Which is kind of funny considering I ran 26 almost 3 months ago. I haven't done 5 since then and honestly, I felt like it was pulling teeth. But, I'm proud of myself...I sucked up whatever my issue was and just did it.

I had a crazy day on Thursday with Lauren and work, so I definitely needed the release. It was very quiet at the gym, so I popped in the headphones and off I went. I completely zoned. My shins started hurting, but I just kept going. That's one of the things that I remember from training last year...sometimes, you just have to suck it up and it will get better. Luckily, around 2 miles, the pain dulled out and pretty much went away. Everything else felt pretty good. I started to feel a little winded at 4 miles, but just kept plugging away on the last mile. When I had finished, it was nice to have hit those 5 miles. I feel like my body has started to remember what this whole running thing is all about again.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up...because you never know what'll happen when you do. :)

On the horse...again...

Distance: 3.00 miles

Time: 28:21 (2.5 miles) 6:14 (.5 miles)

Route: 1/2 mile on the track, 2.5 miles on the treadmill

Today I am officially back on the bandwagon. I know that I said that last week, but I really mean it this week. I took a look at my Bay to Breakers countdown and realized that I don't have as much time as I thought I did! Plus, we have a ball to go to on April 25th, so I need to at least TRY to get my butt in to some sort of shape.

I have a new sensor for my Nike+. I meant to use it before the MGM (Mardi Gras Marathon), but I got lazy and side tracked. So, I dusted it off (literally, dust went everywhere), and went over to the track. I ran a half mile to make sure I callibrated it correctly. I decided to go inside and hit the treadmill, as the bugs were coming out and I'm trying to run on softer surfaces while I build my strength, speed and endurance back up. It was a good, fast run. My lungs burned a little, but they haven't been used in this capacity in a long time. I could feel my shins a little, but I just kept going and will stretch them out in a bit. I saw Old Dude and we did our usual head bob. For my cool down, I actually ratcheted the incline up to 3.5. I need to start working on inclines, as Bay to Breakers is in my favorite city of San Francisco...it's NOT flat by any means. :)

So, there you have it. Post numero dos.

Really?!?

Distance: 2.25 miles

Route: Track

Time: Didn't even try to time it.

This morning was the first time I've run since going on my involuntary running sabbatical. I ran once during the 5 weeks that Mark was gone, but that was it. I decided to hit the track this morning. The weather is warm, the breeze is going and you can just feel the storms getting ready to brew. It sprinkled pretty much the entire time I was running. I've decided to try and run outside as much as possible. The treadmill is good, but I knew that I would want to quit if I did it this morning.

I stepped on the track, put my stuff on the bench and off I went. Holy mother of GOD! I felt so sad! Feeling out of breath after one stinkin' mile?!? REALLY?!?! I'm a marathoner, for Pete's sake!!! A marathoner that is totally out of shape and out of whack. Basically, I feel like I'm starting over from scratch. Which isn't a bad thing, but man...I was surprised at how much it took out of me. The good thing is that I started working on my form and speed a little. I would jog a lap and then sprint a lap. When I trained for New Orleans, I noticed that I didn't have very good form...it was more of a shuffle than a run. Today, I took Mary's advice. I extended my stride a little and lifted my knees a little higher. It felt pretty good. I didn't feel as much like an 80 year old woman. :)

So there we have it. First one out the gate. I realized how much I missed running and doing something good for my body. My mind immediately thought of when my next run will be (Thursday), so at least I'm getting back in the mindset. The rest will follow. :)

February Recap

Whoa. A lot has gone on since the previous post. Let's see...ran the marathon, baby girl turned 3 and Mark left for 5 weeks for training in the Florida panhandle.

The marathon was great. I blogged about it already on MySpace, so I won't bore anyone with the details of it. 2 nights before the race, we all went out on Bourbon Street. I can admit that I had never gone there at night. The last few times that I had gone to New Orleans, I had a nice little bun in the oven, so I couldn't partake in any debauchery. I think I may have made up for it with gusto on the Friday before the race. Needless to say, I was a little hungover the day before the race. I pushed an insane amount of water and gatorade through my system and think it may have been my main saving grace for race day.

When I finished the race, it was wonderful. My friends and my family were there and it was just such a huge sense of accomplishment. However, I can honestly say that I didn't know if I would ever run another full marathon again. Everyone else was already planning their next race, but I was planning on "maybe" doing a half-marathon in December. I love the half marathon distance. It's not short, but it's not ungodly long and painful. A few weeks ago, one of my closest friends in California emailed me and asked me if I would think about running a marathon with her in the winter...it would be her first. I was so touched that she asked me, that I couldn't resist. Amazingly enough, Mark has decided to do it as well. I have to admit that the first thought that crossed my mind was, "CRAP! Now I have to do this ALL over again!" But, I know that I can do it and it's completely worth it. So mark the calendars...December 6, California International Marathon, Sacramento, CA. Woot! I'm actually going to try and improve my time. I felt so incredibly slow on the last one and I know I can push myself a little more.

Okay, enough with the running! Lauren turned 3! She had a princess party with her friend Raegan that lives down the street. It was so much fun! The main responsibility I had was to make this really cute castle cake. The first version ended up lopsided. I am a total perfectionist when it comes to baking for other people, so in the trash it went. The second version turned out great and I was putting the finishing touches on it. I didn't realize how far over the edge the cake was and BAM! On the floor it went. By this time, it's already 8:45pm the night before the party. I head over to Albertson's and found a sheet cake. We baked the remaining cakes and then created the castle cake on top of the sheet cake. Not quite how we wanted it to be, but that's all right. It worked in the end. :)

Mark has been gone for 2 weeks now...starting on week 3 of 5. The last time he was gone for this amount of time was 2 years ago when he deployed. I can't believe that 2 years has gone by already since his deployment. Where did it go?? I will say that these haven't been easy weeks. Mainly because the kids have been sick. Gavin was sick the first week and then Lauren was sick last week. Each time I thought, "Yay! A normal day!", I got the sicky smackdown from one of them. I haven't slept throught the night ONCE since he's been gone...and it's not because I can't sleep without him. Yes, I miss him, but the kids have been waking up. If they don't wake up, then the dog wakes up and starts pacing. I wanted to throw my pillow at her last night. I went to bed at a decent hour and she wakes up at 130am to pee out in the freezing cold! Ack!!!!!! I have been able to get a lot of projects done while he's been gone though, which is good. Things that I've been meaning to do, but just never got around to doing it. I guess I'm putting the DVR to good use. :)

This is the latest update for now...I'll try to get a little better about updating. Sorry it's a little mundane and boring. I'll try to spice up the next one with a little more glitz and flavor. :)

Goodbye '08, Hello '09

It's been awhile since I've updated this thing. The kids are currently watching Kung Fu Panda, courtesy of Christmas and work is slow, so I figured that there is no time like the present, right?

We had a great visit to California for Christmas. It was nice because while we had some plans, it seemed as though we weren't constantly moving at a million miles an hour. My Gram (mom's mom) has not been doing well and her health has been and will continue to be in decline. We were able to take the kids up to Redding to see her and visit for a little while. It's funny how you can become closer to relatives the older you get. I've always adored Gram, but for some reason, my affinity for her seems to grow the older I get. :) I was able to do my training while I was gone as well, so that was always a good thing.

We are now back in Louisiana and seems as though life has just picked up where it left off when we went home. The once-seemingly-empty calendar has gotten full again and it just seems to be a never-ending cycle. Sadly, I had even contemplated pulling Gavin out of his school next year, just to make it easier on me driving wise. Luckily, I snapped out of it and realized that I can suck up the drive for a few more years. The public education system is seriously broken out here, so if you're able to get a spot with financial aid in a private school, then you'd be a fool to turn it down.

Sorry this is a little ho-hum. I feel like I'm just trying to catch up with everything. My house is a disaster, Mark has been working a lot lately (I think I see him maybe for 2 hours a day?) and work has been fairly busy. I like the fact that I only work 2 days a week. I'm very lucky, plus I really like what I do and the fact that I get to do it from home. :)

Okay, enough boring blather for now.