Sunday, January 22, 2012

Done.

It's amazing the power that one little word can have. Just say these three little words to yourself: "I. Am. Done." So many things can be conjured up when this phrase is uttered. Done eating. Done showering. Done running. For me, it means I am done with a chapter in my life that has been almost 12 years in the making.

I graduated with my BA (*snicker, snicker*) in Human Communication on May 20, 2000. I'm a nerd. I have a thing for remembering dates. Names? Not so much. Dates? I'm surprisingly adept. What is "Human Communication"? Basically, it's a fancy schmancy, politically correct, California hippie term for an integrated Humanities degree. I concentrated my studies in Literary and Cultural Studies with an emphasis in 20th Century Multicultural American Literature. Whew! What a mouthful! Bored yet? After graduation, there were only a handful of things that my degree translated to: 1) Absolutely nothing related, 2) Going after my teaching credentials or 3) Keep going in school for a Master's degree. I chose the option behind door #3. I enrolled in Cal State University Sacramento for an MA in English. This would give me a few extra options in the teaching world. I was working full time, so I went to school at night. I took one semester and then life was turned upside down. My newlywed husband joined the Air Force.

We moved to San Antonio and I looked into transferring my degree to University of Texas at San Antonio. By the time I decided to put my application in, I was working full time *and* I found out that I was pregnant with Gavin. Life happened and I put it on hold. I figured that I could go back after I had my son. Whoop! Just kidding! Life happened again and we were reassigned to Okinawa. I finally decided that I would take this school things seriously and look at the different options in Okinawa. I found a great program through OU (University of Oklahoma....Boomer Sooner!) and enrolled. It was for a Master of Public Administration degree. I began my course and then was hired for a full time position on base. Shortly after, I found out that I was pregnant with Lauren. Something had to give. I finished the semester and decided to put it on hold yet again.

Fast forward many moons and another reassignment to Louisiana. The hubs needed his Master's degree to help with promotability. He earned his MAEd (Master of Art in Education) within 18 months. I looked into the program and learned that I qualified for $6000 in financial aid. On top of that, I would earn 2 free course, thus leaving me to only have to pay $3000 out of pocket. I couldn't pass this up. I suddenly felt the need to finish what I had started so long ago. Life in Louisiana was jam packed with adventure. Kids, work, Officer Spouse Club, volunteering and running kept me busy. It was different this time though...I decided to prevail and not give school up. I needed to finish.

This past Saturday, I turned in my final 2 assignments. I. Am. Done. I have completed all of the coursework necessary for my MAEd. I'm happy to be done. I'm happy that I finally finished something that I started oh so many years ago. I'm proud of myself for getting it done and feeling slightly smarter on the other side. Doctorate? Not right now. :)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dependents (ce)

When I was growing up, I was always told that I needed to be independent of anyone else. My grandmother used to tell me that I shouldn't depend on anyone else to make things happen in my life. I would and should be the one to figure out my own way and how to get there. I've always taken pride in being independent and remaining true to me. Even though I'm a mom and a wife, I try to remind myself constantly that I am also me.

Being a military spouse is a bit of a funny thing. There are about a gazillion stereotypes and so many different things that we're told we should be. Even though I volunteer a lot with the spouse clubs and try to stay involved in base happenings, I tend not to classify myself as a military spouse--to me, I'm just a spouse; regardless of military. Sure, it can make things challenging at time, but I think that there are other situations that can be just as challenging (if not more so) than being associated with the military.

Today, I did something I never thought I would do. I turned down a job interview. I had applied for a really neat-sounding job. It was something that seemed right up my alley, and at the time, it seemed like a good idea. We'd be able to pay our debts down and everything would work out. But as the time passed, the husband's work schedule became more erratic and less predictable. At our previous base, I became so busy with work, volunteering, school and kids, that often my schedule dictated the family schedule. That's not how it's supposed to work in this lifestyle. Needs of the military/needs of the Air Force usually come first. After realizing the true reality of his new job, I knew that while I was ready and willing to go back to work outside of the home, my family is not. My kids had a hard time adjusting this summer with the move. It has taken the little one 4 months to finally get her behavior stabilized. She talks about her friends that she left behind constantly. It has taken 4 months for my son to finally make a friend that he wants to have over after school. Am I ready for all of that to change simply because of something I want? Do I turn their lives all crazy again just because of me? Am I sheltering them too much or smothering them?

In the end, one thing has remained constant for most of their lives...I have been home. I have been able to help with homework and calm them down when their world turns upside down. I show them how to make farting noises and put bright yellow Spongebob band aids on their scraped, no longer model-ready legs. If nothing else, this has been one singular constant that they can depend on. So, when the hiring manager at the MWR marketing department called with an eager voice hoping I could schedule an interview, I politely declined. Yes, I could have gone through the process, just to go through, but it's not right and not fair to take time that could belong to someone else. I just didn't realize how much I really did want the job.

I'm not trying to be a martyr...oh pity me for staying home...I know that I am incredibly lucky to be able to stay home and raise my kids. In this day and in this economy, I am so grateful that someone--anyone--would have wanted to grant me an interview. I feel that I may have lost a little piece of "me" today by saying no to something that I wanted, and thus giving my family something that they needed. I know that sounds selfish and maybe it is. Tonight is one of the first times that I truly felt like a "military" spouse. In my heart, I know that I made the right decision. It may take awhile for my head to catch up, but it will get there. I'm not resentful or angry at all and I just need to quiet the "what-ifs" in my head.

I know that staying at home is okay. I don't sit on my couch eating bon bons and watching soaps all day. I'm proud of my kids and proud of the hubs. I just need to be proud of me too. Even if I'm not independent, at least I'm co-dependent. The hubs brings home the bacon, and I cook the meal. It works for now and that's what matters. Maybe there is something bigger and better on the horizon and maybe this is it. I have a few ideas I've been batting around in my head, so maybe this is my chance to explore those options. I just have to have faith that it will all work out in the end.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Hike 4: Koko Head Crater

Koko Head. Not quite the Haiku Stairs (aka: Stairway to Heaven), but I guess if you were to do that one, then Koko Head would definitely be a good warm-up or precursor to it. I had seen a few sites about it and have heard that it a fun-challenging-kick-butt kind of hike. More of a workout than a hike. So, when the OSC gals picked this for the September hike, I was totally for it. I think I may be a bit of a sadomasochist:


There were 6 ladies in our group, so we kind of split off into 2 groups going up: some that were super, uber athletes that probably could have run up the blessed steps and the rest of us that, well, weren't quite as athletically endowed or gifted (read slow as molasses and afraid they'd have to be carried back down). Obviously, I don't have athletic prowess, so I chose to bring up the rear (read take my sweet ass time and stop a lot).

When you first start, you don't really think to much about it. After all, my house has stairs. I go up and down them multiple times a day. However, my stairs are maybe 6 inches apart and are carpeted with a railing. These are old, decrepit, rotting out rail tracks that are at least a foot or more apart. The view the entire time is pretty well worth it though (this one is about 1/3 up the hill):


About halfway up the hill, there is a little bridge that has a drop off underneath it. There is a dirt path that goes to the right side that you can take if you don't want to go over it. I decided that I'd be brave and go over it on the way up, but would be smarter to go on the trail on the way down. Now, I have to make a side note here: there is a firing range just down the road from here. The sounds of the gunfire ricochet off the hill sides, so it sounds like someone is firing a gun at you. Let's just say that with the adrenaline running through you and the noises from the firing range, you feel a bit like someone in an Indiana Jones movie. After I crossed the bridge, I took a peek down:


We kept plugging up the steps and about 1028 steps later, with a 1,035 ft. elevation gain in 1/2 mile, we made it to the top:


It was so pretty! You could see the ridge that we had climbed in a previous hike. The day was clear enough to see the outlines of Molokai and Lanai in the distance:


There was a little path that went up a little further, to the tippy top of the hill, where the bunkers used to be. We stood on the top of the roof of the old bunkers and could see an amazing view of Hawaii Kai, the back of Diamond Head and the eastern part of Honolulu.


Amazing views definitely made this hike worth it. It's not a long hike, by any stretch of the imagination--just over a mile for up and back. But it is quite a workout. We saw a lot of people actually running up and down the steps. One woman was on her second trip up that morning as a part of her workout regimine. That's either crazy dedication or just plain crazy. What goes up, must go down. I think that going down is almost harder than going up--especially if you have knees that aren't in tip top shape. Unfortunately, my knees aren't in the best of shape, so it was pretty hard on the knees. It was a good reminder for me to start hitting the weights before doing any serious training for races.

I'm sure I'll probably do this one again sometime...just not within the next few weeks. But, I'm proud to have conquered this bad boy and check it off the list!

Hike 3: Makapu'u Lighthouse - September 2, 2011

We have definitely been bit by the hiking bug. The Friday before Labor Day, Mark had the day off, thanks to the "Rope Yarn Days" that the Navy tends to give over the long weekends. Definitely a perk for him being an Air Force guy in a mainly Navy office on a Marine installation. Since the kids still had to go to school, we decided to go exploring. There are a lot of hiking spots and trails over in the Hawaii Kai area of the island (East Oahu). We mapped out the day: Makapu'u Lighthouse trail, Whole Foods for lunch and then a little bit of shopping if the day allowed. We headed down the highway and stopped at some of the scenic spots. There was a scenic area that was completely empty, so we pulled over and broke out the camera.



When we drove into the parking lot, we noticed quite a few cars parked there already. A lot of groups were starting there way down the trail, as the sun was blazing over head. The only bummer about hiking these trails during the day is that the sun is usually pretty toasty. There is often very little shade unless you do one of the loop trails or if you do a ridge trail. Thank goodness for the sunscreen. We started up the trail and noticed the view. That's Koko Head Crater in the background:


After much huffing and puffing in the sun, we made it to the top of the trail and there were a lot of interesting markers at the top:


What's funny about this trail is that the lighthouse isn't actually at the top of the trail. There's a side trail that you can take, but you can't actually reach the lighthouse. It is federal property and as such, the feds decided to close public access to it. The trail looks to be in slight disrepair leading to it and there is a locked gate with barbed wire fencing around it. I'm sure that there is a way around, but viewing it from a far was good enough for us:


This was a relatively easy trail. It is paved the entire way, which is great for families that have wee ones in strollers. It's not a very long trail either, so good for beginners for sure.

Hike 2: Diamond Head - August 28, 2011

After doing the first hike, the kids asked me what hiking was. I told them that it was basically like taking a long walk outside. Sometimes you get to walk through the forest, along the beach and sometimes you can climb to the top of hills and mountains. Both of them told me that they wanted to try it sometime. Mark and I looked at each other and said, "Okay!" Diamond Head it was!

We got up early on a Sunday and decided to head on over. It was kind of a mixed morning--misty and sunny. When we got to the parking lot, this is what awaited us:




The trail was a little busy, but we were grateful that we got there early. After we hit the gravel part of the trail, Gavin took a quick look up:



Because we had the kids, we decided to make it fun and to take our time. We didn't want to push them too hard and make it not fun. If we saw something interesting, we'd stop and take a quick breather.





We made it up the switch backs and it started to sprinkle on us. Luckily, the kids have become very much accustomed to the rainshowers here. Basically, if it rains, you just wait about 5 minutes and it'll be over. I've been told that during the winter that's not always the case, but since we're in the summer/fall, that's pretty much it. We made it up the "Stairs of Evil" (as my son so eloquently called them) and through the bunker tunnel. Lauren was wearing her Sketcher Twinkle Toes shoes, which happen to light up. It was pretty funny...every time she took a step, she twinkled. We climbed through the bunker and up the last small set of stairs and then we made it to the top!



We took our time going back down the hill and stopped and snapped a few more pictures. The kids had a great time and have told me that they most definitely want to do it again.



Diamond Head + Kiddos = Hiking WIN!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hike 1: Kuli'ou'ou Ridge

So one of my brilliant friends told me that I should start blogging my hikes. I decided to join the Outdoor Adventure/Hiking group with the Hickam OSC (Officers' Spouses' Club). I hadn't gone on a hike in many moons, but hey, when in Rome, right?? Hawaii has a lot of trails and a lot of things to do outside, so it's time for me to try something new and stay outside.

The first hike that we went on was back in August and we went to the Kuli'ou'ou Ridge Trail. We met at the O'Club on base and there were 5 of us that went on the hike. We all piled into one car and off we went. Since I wasn't quite familiar with area, I tried to pay attention to where we were going. We drove on H-1 until it ended. We kept on going into the Hawaii Kai area and turned into a neighborhood. That's one of the funny things about the ridge trails--a lot of them start in the backs of neighborhoods. We saw the trailhead and started.

It was a good incline to start off. Long switchbacks going up. The path was pretty well worn, so it was easy to follow. There were a lot of rocks and at times the cliff below was a little intimidating. We reached a clearing about 1/2 way up and took a quick breather. You could see the views of the ocean and how beautiful it was.



Aimee, our guide, assured us that it was even better at the top. We traversed up the trail some more and it was definitely a lot more rugged. No switchbacks, but more climbing over roots and rocks. Right before the we reached the top, there was about a 1/4 mile of steep stairs that went to the top. The stairs were uneven and a little slippery. At times you had to almost jump to try and get to the platform of the step. The trail narrowed down and the wind picked up. Then we reached the top.



We stayed up at the top and took some pictures, had a snack and rehydrated. Then we realized that we needed to go back down the same way we came up. The clouds had moved over the ridge at this time, so it made the trail more slippery. We came up the saying that unless your butt hits the ground, you didn't actually fall. We could hear each other's feet sliding every now and then and would check in to make sure that everyone was okay. We made it down the trail a lot faster than going up. It was a beautiful trail. I don't think I'd take the kids on it, as it gets a little steep at times. I would love to take Mark on this one on a day off that the kids are in school. This hike definitely rekindled my love of hiking and nature. :)

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Move

Well, we did it. Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that we've made the move from our home in Louisiana to our new home in Hawaii. We arrived on island in July (and for this I apologize in the delay of writing this update) and have been busy with school, vehicle registration, finding housing, moving into housing, unpacking and just trying to get adjusted to our new home. Here are a few things that have taken getting used to:

1) Navigation. I get seriously mixed up with my north, south, east and west. I have no idea why. I know that I live on the south centralish area of the island. For the life of me, whenever we're in downtown or in Waikiki, I always get discombobulated. I know I'll get there eventually...and hey, we're on an island! I'll get home eventually.

2) Food. All the Asian food a girl could ask for. There is never a shortage of bok choy here. There is a Chinatown in Honolulu and man, is it awesome!

3) Groceries. $6 for a gallon of 1% milk. I wish I could say that it was purchased at Safeway or something, but alas it was purchased at the Commissary. Yowsa.

4) Time difference. For the last the 10 years, we have always been at least 2 hours ahead (in Okinawa, we were almost 14 hours ahead) of friends and family. Not anymore. We are currently 3 hours behind our West coast peeps. It will change when daylight savings time ends, as they don't do daylight savings time here.

All in all, there really aren't too many complaints. There are deeper issues to delve into, but I'll save that for later and for a different post. We are all getting adjusted and enjoying what the island has to offer: lots of beach time and lots of hiking. Just know that the door is always open here!