Move

Well, we did it. Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that we've made the move from our home in Louisiana to our new home in Hawaii. We arrived on island in July (and for this I apologize in the delay of writing this update) and have been busy with school, vehicle registration, finding housing, moving into housing, unpacking and just trying to get adjusted to our new home. Here are a few things that have taken getting used to:

1) Navigation. I get seriously mixed up with my north, south, east and west. I have no idea why. I know that I live on the south centralish area of the island. For the life of me, whenever we're in downtown or in Waikiki, I always get discombobulated. I know I'll get there eventually...and hey, we're on an island! I'll get home eventually.

2) Food. All the Asian food a girl could ask for. There is never a shortage of bok choy here. There is a Chinatown in Honolulu and man, is it awesome!

3) Groceries. $6 for a gallon of 1% milk. I wish I could say that it was purchased at Safeway or something, but alas it was purchased at the Commissary. Yowsa.

4) Time difference. For the last the 10 years, we have always been at least 2 hours ahead (in Okinawa, we were almost 14 hours ahead) of friends and family. Not anymore. We are currently 3 hours behind our West coast peeps. It will change when daylight savings time ends, as they don't do daylight savings time here.

All in all, there really aren't too many complaints. There are deeper issues to delve into, but I'll save that for later and for a different post. We are all getting adjusted and enjoying what the island has to offer: lots of beach time and lots of hiking. Just know that the door is always open here!

Barksdale

We came to Barksdale in September 2007. It seems like it was a lifetime ago and in a way it was. Definitely a different kind of lifetime any way. When we came here, we were fresh off of a 9-month separation. Mark had been on deployment, gone to school and finished up everything in Japan. I had done an early return of dependents and had spent the past 9 months living with my mom and dad. Gavin was my sweet 4.5 year old little boy and Lauren was my curious little 18 month old with a big ol' baby fro on her head. I remember telling Gavin that this wasn't our forever house...we would be moving again when he turned 8.5 and when Lauren was 5.5. At the time, it seemed like 4 years would take a long time to get through. This would be our longest assignment...4 years. Some of our friends equated it to almost a prison sentence. What had we done or who had we pissed off in order to get sent to "Barkatraz"? It's funny--we never thought of it that way...we were happy to be assigned here and 4 years later, I can honestly say that I fell in love here.

It's amazing to see how much we have evolved here. Gavin is growing into a tall, lively almost 9 year old that loves soccer and anything Mario. Lauren is a fiesty and imaginative 5 year old that loves Harry Potter and casting spells. We gained a family member: Abby Dog joined us in 2008. I think she was destined to be a part of our family. She's just as quirky as the rest of us. Our family quickly gelled into an awesomely cohesive unit. We discovered how to make things work as a family and how to confront challenges head on, while keeping things together. Mark and I both decided to change our lives here. We got tired of being just okay and doing just enough to get by. We decided to challenge ourselves and to shake up our routine. We started eating better and we started running. Between the two of us, I think we've run the amount of distance it would take to get from here to California and almost back again. Mark has completed 2 marathons (California Internation Marathon and the USAF Marathon), a 10-mile trail run and several 5Ks. I've completed 2 half marathons (Rock N' Roll San Antonio x 2), 2 full marathons (Mardi Gras Marathon and Rock N' Roll Mardi Gras Marathon) and several 5Ks as well. Life is happier and healthier.

Barksdale taught me many things. It taught me that it's okay to let my guard down. I met so many amazing and incredible people here that I may not have ever met otherwise. It's okay to be involved...okay, I probably overdid it on this one toward the end. But again, I did so many things and met so many great people that I may never have originally. Barksdale taught me patience and forgiveness in many different ways--some ways that I wish I could forget, but never will.

To all of the fabulous people that I have met here at Barksdale and in the Bossier/Shreveport area, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being my friend and for being a part of my life. Thank you for the fun playdates with kids, Bunco nights, BOSC functions and fundraisers, girls nights out, BBQs, coffee dates and for just being there. Every single one of you has impacted my life and I am forever grateful to have you as a friend. Thank you for welcoming and hosting the Roman Family with such gusto and flair for the past 4 years. It is difficult for me to consider any other area beside California home, but you have managed to make me feel as though this is home.

Thankfully, with the advent of email and Facebook (and let's face it--we all know that I am on there WAAAAAY too much), we don't have to say goodbye. Honestly, I don't think my heart could handle goodbyes. Instead, I will leave it at, "Thank you and I'll see you again soon." If you're ever on island, look us up. You're more than welcome at Casa de Roman. Mahalo and laissez les bons temps rouler! :)

Anxiety.

Anxiety sucks. Plain and simple. Normally, I like to consider myself a pretty easy going chick. I like to be on time, I like to have things done in a certain way, but for the most part, I can roll with the punches. Except when it comes to moving.

I like moving. It's one of the perks that my non-military friends think would be one of the most annoying. For me, it's one of my favorites. My mom used to call me her nomadic gypsy. I think it is a title that definitely suits me. We get move itchy usually halfway through an assignment. We start to wonder where the next adventure will be and when we'll get to close a chapter and start a new one. This upcoming move has been a testament to my lack of patience and has strained my anxiety level. Everything has been done very last minute. The folks here have been doing things last minute and the folks at Hawaii have been sitting on things until the last minute. Had this move been a "drive-to-the-next-state-over" kind of move, then I probaby wouldn't care. However, this isn't one of those kind of moves (We haven't done a "simple" move in 10 years). We have 3 different packers/shipments for our house. We have 2 car shipments, a dog in quarantine and not a clue as to what awaits us as far as housing goes. It gets very convoluted and very complicated.

To put the cherry on top, we are down to one car (which Mark needs most days) and the kids are on summer break. The daytime temps have been in the 100s, thus creating no way to play outside without suffering heatstroke by just stepping outside. We have 10 days left in our house before we move over to the Temporary Lodging Facility (TLF) for another 10 days. Yes, it's awesome that we get to move to Hawaii...but the process to get there is really crap.

Everything eventually will fall into place. We won't be homeless, our stuff will go where it needs to go and the dog is coming with us. I know that it will all work out. I just need to remind myself to "Goosefraba" every now and again and to try and take things with a grain of salt.

Anatomy...

...of a break up. Breaking up is hard to do. It doesn't matter if you are the dumper or the dumpee. It sucks. No one ever enters into a relationship or a friendship thinking, "Hmmmm....when is the right time to dump this person?". Eventually, it comes down to realizing that both people in the relationship are no longer on the same page. Often, one wants more than what the other can give. That's when you hit the breaking point. Either you support the person and try to make it work, or you don't.

I have had 3 significant break ups in my life. One in high school, one right after college and one very recently. The one most recently is probably the most complicated and convoluted one to date. I won't go into too many details, except to say that one party wanted more than what the other could give. Rather than support, words were exchanged and it came to the point that I couldn't make it work. Even had a break in the relationship ensued, it would never have recovered to the point that it would have been beneficial to either side. Too many hurtful things had been said and too many truths exposed that could not and should not be hidden. I had to cut the tie. It hurt, but it was necessary. I don't regret this person in my life at the time that this person was in my life. I regret that it had to end so verbally violent on behalf of the other party. Sticks and stones break bones, but words will always stay. I tried to take the high road, but apparently, that road was still under construction.

I write about this because I hadn't yet. Break ups aren't something that people like to talk about, but you realize that once you externalize it, it makes sense. Break ups hurt no matter which side you end up on, but in the end, they prove necessary. In the end, it cuts out unnecessary drama from your life. You learn from the mistake and hopefully don't repeat it.

Angry

I don't usually post political rantings or my views on that sort of thing. Beware: I'm breaking my rule. I am angry. I am ashamed, disappointed, frustrated and simply pissed off. When the grumblings of a possible government shutdown started, I didn't worry about it. There's no way that the higher ups in the echelons of government would let it happen. After all, didn't they agree to work together? Oh wait. This is Washington we're talking about. Silly me. I was wrong. We are now on the eve of a shutdown and I was wrong.

I've never felt the panicky feeling when something was happening out of my control. I like to think of myself as fairly level headed and calm in the time of crisis. If the government shuts down, we lose half of a paycheck next week. Then we will lose entire paychecks until the powers that be can finally reach an agreement. What makes me angry is not only the fact that we are left to scramble, but the fact that the men and women in the service protect the freedoms of those that are screwing them over. The hypocrisy and irony is enraging to me. These senators, representatives and even the president are the ones that begged to be elected to these posts. They were chosen to do a job that they are not doing. I don't care about blame. I don't care. Just do your job that you were begging us to elect you to do! If you can't do it, then let someone else do it that can. I can guarantee you that I will not be voting for any of these clowns that are involved in this debacle.

I care about the families that will not be able to pay bills, rent and mortgages. I have seen so many postings that have to deal with how to make sound financial decisions in the event of a shutdown. While news outlets are concentrating on national parks closing, there are many military and other government affiliated workers that are worried about putting food on the table and that have barely been able to scrape by in normal circumstances. How is any of this okay? There were protests in Wisconsin over collective bargaining rights. Where are the protests right now? Where is the outrage and the protests about the fact that our troops are expected to work without pay, yet our politicians will be collecting pay for doing NOTHING?

While we are not as dire as other families, we will have to call the banks and advise that we will not be able to make payments on time. We may have to tap into resources meant for our children or our retirement and pay penalties for that. So, dear politicians in Washington, thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes and helping me to see how conniving and cold you all are. Thank you for helping me make a sound decision in the next election. Thank you for hurting millions of families when we have done nothing but support and protect you.

"Furlough".

"Furlough: to lay an employee or worker off from work, usually temporarily; a temporary leave of absence authorized for a prisoner from a penitentiary." The word furlough has always made me giggle. The fact the the word "fur" is on it makes me think of furry animals scurrying into hibernation or something. I also thought that it was something that I'd never have to contend with.

I have been "furloughed" from my job, as the president of the company eloquently put it. I knew that it was coming, but I can honestly say that I did not anticipate it coming so quickly. I had hoped to keep working through May in order to help offset some of the costs that we are going to have eat on this move. For instance, we will have to ship one of our vehicles out of pocket. The government will pay for one vehicle, so we have to pay for the other. My financial aid for school has run its course after this next class, so I will have to begin paying out of pocket for my classes. Had I been able to work through May, we could have easily saved money and been able to pay for everything without feeling a squeeze. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

My kids are happy that I won't be working for the foreseeable future. I think deep down, I am too. The loss of income will be sorely missed, but I now have more time with the kids, more time for studying, more time to get life back together and get everything in order for when we hop the pond to Hawaii. I think that I'll be able to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. You'd think that I'd be able to know by now, but sometimes I think being a jack of all trades is fun.

This is the first time that I have ever been "furloughed" or laid off. I have always been the one to terminate my employment, usually for another position or because of the hardships associated with the life of a military spouse (virtually impossible to have a stable career). It's a strange feeling and hopefully, one I won't have to go through again. But, we'll make do. Everything happens for a reason--even if we don't understand it at the time. It'll all work out in the end. This prisoner is escaping the penitentiary for a little while.

Aloha.

By now, the news has been plastered everywhere...no, not Crazy Charlie's hysterical one liners while he's on a bender. We are moving. The assignment gods at AFPC (Air Force Personnel Center) have bestowed their judgement to us peons. Their decision? Hawaii. We are moving to Hawaii. Even as I type those words, it still hasn't sunk in that it's real. We were actually apprehensive to say anything because we're so afraid that they'll take it back and say, "Oops! Our bad! You're not going there...you're going to some crap ass base with tons of snow in the middle of the country!" Let's hope that's not the case.

When Mark called to tell me, I was completely elated. Not just because of the tropical locale, the awesome food and the kick ass beaches. Yes, obviously, anyone would be stupid to NOT want to go. But we were happy for another reason: Family. Simply put, we are finally going someplace near family. In the 10 years that Mark has been in the Air Force, we have never been near family. We haven't had the weekend drop offs and visits, nor the quick trips home in the car (by plane, yes...which racks up the bills VERY quickly). Mark's parents live on the Big Island; so while we'll still be a few islands away, we're still in the same state. Plus, Mark's brother is 90% for sure transferring to Oahu in December. One big happy Roman family!

We will be departing Louisiana most likely sometime in late June. It is bittersweet. Sweet because it is time to move on and we were able to get the number one choice. Bitter because it means leaving behind friends that we have come to know and love as family. It is always the hardest part of the move. However, this time is proving especially difficult--some of these friends are like sisters to me. I let my guard down and became incredibly close to many of them. Now it's almost time to say, "See you soon!" I can't say good-bye...it's too final and too depressing. But if I say, "See you soon, or see you later!", then it's not *quite* as bad. :)

Mahalo Louisiana for the memories and the experiences. Aloha, Hawaii!